So, maybe the missing voice comes from feeling like I don't deserve to have one. What kind of person has the right to make demands or have opinions- the person whose proven their value. That's so unhealthy.
If someone else told me all of this, I'd try to convince them of how loved they are and that value doesn't come from secular achievement but from how much we help others- even in seemingly simple ways. I do believe that, but when it comes to me I just don't. I think I may have failed one too many times. This is not a good feeling : (