"Love is like a child, That longs for everything that it can come by."
- William Shakespeare, The Two Gentleman of Verona
Well, that was a random question.
And here's one more: If you had a time machine and could use it to go back to any date, but the one condition was that to use the time machine, you had to watch an entire season of ABC's The Bachelor, would you do it?
You know what's insane? I totally would!
Seriously...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Have I lost my mind?!!
Between the obviously scripted feuds between Tiera LiCaussi and the other actresses in the house (yes, that's right, I said ACTRESSES) and the amount of times that Sean Lowe gives the camera a fake (gorgeous but completely fake) smile whilst saying, "I think my future wife might be here!" I ought to know better than to waste an entire 45 minutes watching the most unrealistic reality show on television.
Here's how The Bachelor could be less of a waste of time:
1. For the love of all that's holy, NO MORE PRECONCEIVED VILLAINS!
Reality shows seem to think that the formula to success is to choose a "character" to become the villain.
The producers incorrectly assume that the resulting feud is going to hook viewers.
Dear producers, your audience is not chock full of idiots.
When a feud is staged, we notice that it is staged and we either (a) turn the channel or (b) watch it for laughs and then take to our blogs to talk about how fake it is.
Just give us real people. It's simple: REAL PEOPLE. That's why it's called a Reality Show (and, here's a tip, that's why so many people love YouTube- it's fairly realistic)
2. Choose Intelligence/Quirkiness Over Hotness
I know this comes as a shocker (and I'm not being sarcastic- I'm serious) but as much as we love to watch beautiful people, what hooks us even more are the snarky/quirky intelligent contestants.
We tune in to see what she's going to say, how she's going to handle a situation...how she's going to surprise us.
There are tons of beautiful people on every channel- but I ( a female viewer) skip those channels and try to find something that's going to amuse me. If a reality show about Beyonce and a reality show about Tina Fey aired at the same time- I'd choose to watch Tina's.
Not that Tina isn't pretty, she is, but I'd rather see her on television because, in my opinion, she's more interesting and surprising.
So please ABC, please, choose contestants who:
- Understand what sarcasm is and use it effectively
- Know how to, not just throw their head back and look sexy as they laugh at some guy's corny joke, but can actually...wait for it...Come Up With Their Own Joke!
- Are familiar with adjectives other than: "amazing" and "incredible"
3.Mix Those Skin Tones
If the Bachelor were Indian, Puerto Rican, Chinese, or African-American...the show wouldn't lose viewers, it would GAIN viewers. Cultural diversity makes television more interesting! It was nice that this season there was an improvement in diversity, that's cool...but something about it seemed forced, even shallow. I can't put my finger on why that was...but it just didn't feel right.
4. Make the Dates More Interesting
Beautiful scenery is great and riding in a helicopter is okay but...we're not there. So, we're starting to yawn/doze off as some wide eyed blonde chick who doesn't realize that she's about to get kicked off the show uses the word "amazing" a million times to describe the clouds.
What would help the couple and put the audience on the edge of their seats are:
- On certain one-on-one dates, have The Bachelor compete against His Date in something. This sparks tension, and tension between two people who like each other is always fun to watch.
- On certain one-on-one dates have The Bachelor team up with his date to complete a shortened version of The Amazing Race. This way the date isn't sugar-coated in roses and hot-tubs but in action and The Bachelor really gets to see who he's dating.
- Group dates need to be nixed as these are often demeaning to women and they're just plain ridiculous, not even fun to watch.
Yeah, I think the concept of The Bachelor is interesting but it hasn't been executed correctly and it's turned into a mess.
Shakespeare's quote above, "Love is like a child, That longs for everything that it can come by." probably had to do with a lover's almost greedy desire to seize every opportunity to spend more time with the object of their affection...but I'm applying it to myself differently.
I'm so fascinated by the concept of "love" that I'm even willing to watch fake, half-scripted love unfold on reality shows like The Bachelor.
But my willingness to watch this stuff probably won't last very long...eventually the show is going to have to make more of an effort.